Just over a week ago I read a tweet that has had a huge affect on me and hasn’t left my thoughts. A very wonderful and inspirational woman that I follow online lost her nine-month-old baby very suddenly to the angels.
There was nothing wrong with her. No signs of illness or a condition. She learnt to crawl the day she passed away. It has been suggested that she simply crawled under her blanket and suffocated.
As I write this I have tears once again in my eyes.
I do not know @Edspire in person, but the blogging community and reading daily tweets gives you a connection that not all would appreciate.
I have been reading her blog posts and looking at photos of her gorgeous Matilda Mae who seemed so happy. I cannot begin to imagine what she and her family are going through.
I guess it’s no surprise that this last week I’ve struggled with work life balance. My heart is breaking every time I get into my car for work. It seems to be getting harder as Baby O is getting older.
I find I cannot tolerate childish behaviour at work, idle gossiping and my greatest bugbear is laziness right now.
I have two compartments – work and family – any they could not be more black and white right now.
I realise as I write this I am feeling angry. Angry for @Edspire and her loss. Angry that I have allowed myself to be all consumed by work. Angry that my nanny gets to play with Baby O more than I do.
If I had a fairy godmother I’m not sure what I would wish for. I choose to work. I think that makes the guilt even harder to bear.
God bless you Matilda Mae. I am sure you are shining bright on all of us. You are a reminder that time is precious and lives should be cherished.